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Molly Maffei Baldwin posted a condolence
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
Brother Jim by Molly Maffei Baldwin
There are three people I wish to acknowledge at this time.
My Kara, who had been her Dad’s strongest ally. She worried about him, she talked to him and she argued with him. Kara knew what Jim needed to do, especially as he got older, and he knew it, too. He needed to tend to his health more, to eat better and get a new car. Jim would acknowledge his daughter was right, but he insisted on living his life his way. Kara, thank you for caring for my brother all these years. You were there when we couldn’t be. He loved you very much.
My Jimmy, who was his Dad’s “Jimbo.” You were always by his side. Looking through my photographs, there was Jimmy—always next to Dad. Believe it or not Jimmy, you inherited your Dad’s ability to keep talking! Thank you for being Dad’s right hand man. He loved you very much.
And Mary Jane, my sister-in-law who is my sister. You never left Jim out of anything that mattered to Kara and Jimmy. Birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July—Jim was at your house to share meals and time with his family. How gracious of you to keep your family together for all these years. You talked with him about the kids, his health and his old car. He listened and did things his way. Thank you for endless supply of patience and goodness. And Jim loved you for that.
The Irish have a saying, “The dead are only dead if we stop talking about them.” I want to talk about Jim.
I must have been 6, Johnny 8 and Jimmy 13 (old enough to know better!) We had one black and white TV in the living room and were allowed limited viewing time. Johnny and I would sit on the floor and Jimmy had the chair. One time the brothers wanted one program and the only sister wanted another. When they won the argument and put their show on, I angrily stood up and blocked the TV screen—legs apart and feet planted firmly, with arms on my hips. If I couldn’t see my show, neither would they. Then wham—a shove from the right from Johnny. Back I bounced to center to stand my ground. Wham, another shove from Johnny. Back I bounce. Then—bam—a shove from the left. From my big brother Jimmy! Off I pouted to the kitchen and never told anyone of my disgrace.
We kids loved watching westerns. I always would get nervous about how a character would get out of a fix. During the commercial, I would twist around and ask Jimmy, “What’s going to happen next?” “How will he stop them?” “He’s going to get killed!” Jim would smile and say, “Just wait.” To my continued queries, he would say, “Keep watching.” Still today, when I watch those old westerns where the good guy is in trouble, I catch myself thinking ‘how’s he going to get out of this predicament’ and I see Jimmy over my shoulder saying, “Just keep watching.”
On the beach at Lavallette, after age 12 you had to wear badge that was to be pinned to your bathing suit. Jim was having none of that. He wasn’t going to put a hole in his bathing suit for no one. Along comes the beach patrol checking badges. The arguing begins, then gets testy. So Jim is ordered off the beach and threatened with arrest. I’m sitting in the sand watching all this and knowing he was going to jail. I ran home to tell Mom they were arresting Jim. When he came home, I listened as he tried to voice his rationale to Mom. Before too much of the summer went by, Jim did pin on that badge. But—on the inside waist band of the bathing suit so he could flip it over when beach patrol checked!
If you think a game of Monopoly lasts forever, try playing Scrabble with Jim. One game would last about two hours and then he would want another game. Jim was good with words and good with boxing in the other players. Scrabble has two blank tiles that could be used for any letter. Well, tired of losing and tired of playing, my tray would somehow have a few extra blank tiles—if one turned over a letter tile, it became an unnoticed blank! Jim still won and it was years later before I finally told him of my delicious deception.
The last time I spoke to Jim was when he called about a week before he died. I have a habit of not forwarding emailed jokes or pithy commentaries when they come in, so periodically I clean out my email and fire away. Jim called and said. “What the hell? I opened my computer this morning and there’s Molly Baldwin, Molly Baldwin, Molly Baldwin all the way down my screen.”
On the 1600 mile drive from Texas, our final leg was on New Jersey’s 78-287-280. Frustrated, Reg’s said, “No wonder New Jersey doesn’t allow guns!” That reminded me of the time Jimmy and I were going home from the shore on the Garden State Parkway. I had studied the driver’s manual and reminded him that for every ten miles, you had to leave one car length. I still can see him waving his hand and with a quick retort, “Christ, Sis, there’ll be six (bleeping) cars cut in front of us!”
Another Irish saying goes like this
Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad,
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.
I don’t have sad memories of Jim. Although today is a sad day, it is a celebration of my brother James Anthony Maffei. Thank you, Jim, for the memories.
I’ll leave you with these words from a headstone in Ireland:
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal.
J
Joseph Rainone posted a condolence
Thursday, November 21, 2019
Memories of Jim always include a warm smile and reminesing about our families including all our aunts, uncles and cousins. We would bump into each other around town and a friendly hug would express the loving person that he was. I am honored to have Jim as my cousin and happy that we traveled this part of life's journey together. He will be missed and remembered. Rest in peace my cousin. Joseph Rainone
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Guy, Gene, Joseph Rainone and Families purchased flowers
Thursday, November 21, 2019
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Guy, Gene, Joseph Rainone and Families
purchased the Exquisite Tribute Standing Spray for the family of James Maffei.
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With our deepest sympathy and loving memories of our cousin Jimmy. Guy & Morgan Rainone, Gene & Alice Rainone, Joseph and Debra Rainone and Family
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Helen and Kevin purchased flowers
Thursday, November 21, 2019
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Helen and Kevin
purchased the Eternal Friendship Remembrance Bouquet for the family of James Maffei.
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As you grieve know that we are remembering you and honoring the memory of Jim, our dear friend for more than a half century.
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Dona Roberts & Billy Bock purchased flowers
Tuesday, November 19, 2019
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We are thinking of you during this difficult time.
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Gary , Michael , and Rocky planted a tree in memory of James Maffei
Monday, November 18, 2019
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Our prayers are with you Join in honoring their life - plant a memorial tree
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The MacLaren Family planted a tree in memory of James Maffei
Monday, November 18, 2019
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James Maffei will remain in our hearts forever. Join in honoring their life - plant a memorial tree
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Deborah MacLaren Cooper lit a candle
Monday, November 18, 2019
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Kara and "Little Jimmy" I am so sorry for your loss. I thought the world of your dad and he will be greatly missed. - Debbie MacLaren Cooper
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John & Maggie Maffei & Family purchased flowers
Monday, November 18, 2019
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John & Maggie Maffei & Family
purchased the Loving Light Dishgarden for the family of James Maffei.
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We love you & will miss your gift of story telling! Forever remaining in our hearts. Great brother & Uncle to Chad, Meghan, Little Molly, & Devin.
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Tribute Store
Monday, November 18, 2019
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In Loving Memory Arrangement was purchased for the family of James Maffei.
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Our deepest sympathy Love Karon & Richard Hunt and KELLY & McGuin Morris
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The family of James Anthony Maffei uploaded a photo
Monday, November 18, 2019
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76 Park Street
Montclair, NJ 07042
Phone: (973) 744-4346